I am only human afterall

I was listening to the song "I am only human " by Rag n Bone man and it set my thoughts on sail ..
Forgive and forget.
Easily said than done
You can say "I forgive you " or  "It's Ok ".  But letting go of hurt , pain and feeling of betrayal ..
It isn't easy for me .
The closer the one who hurt you ,the harder it is .
I am struggling to let go. It has taken a toll on my very being .
I used to be a happy person and now I am engaged in a constant battle with my amygdala which warns me of the danger of getting hurt, every time I try to be how I used to be .

Often our life becomes a charade which we act out, to keep up our social obligations.
We try to cope up by adopting several defense mechanisms.
Throwing ourselves so deep in work.
Drinking, expecting the senses to go numb.
Traveling.
Indulging in everything that we wouldn't otherwise do .
Just another weapon to fight against our hippocampi, from that painful incident being a long -term last forever memory.

If someone asks me what is my strength..I would say ..resilience.
I pull myself back up. I always do .
This too would make me a stronger person with another test of life passed with grade A.
But if you find a different me till then ...
Don't put your blame on me .
My sense of self preservation is on over drive .
I am only human after all.