The Enchantment of Cards

I was searching for a document among my old folders and I found these .

Cards and letters .These are just a part of a huge collection. This was what romance was all about in the 90’s . Yeah..we are the 90’s youth.

Cards were the thing then. They had everything we wanted to say , but not articulate enough to express. A card for every occasion ...even for mending broken hearts . Archie’s used to be my favorite place to visit and my contribution towards their annual profit is something worth mentioning. All in the form of cards, stickers , bookmarks and what not .

I can undoubtedly say that we had the best of everything . Our childhoods were spent playing and having fun outside. Our school and college years , spent building up friendships mingled with gossips in canteen and coffee shops .We did not have mobiles, but we sure had the time of our lives .Unfortunately we do not have selfies to prove it .We have only our cards and letters that we exchanged and an occasional photograph.(hard copy)

There are still people ,incurably romantic at heart ,who take lot of pain to make cards. Not the commercial ones .But hand made ones .They are the silver-tongued ones , who say exactly what they want to say with print out of selfies , tiny sketches of hearts and smiles and borrowed lyrics. I have a collection of them too ,more recent ones.

Cards would never be out of vogue .In one version or the other they will stick around, changing the heart of the one receiving it, to putty. (That is why , at school, we have card making competitions.)

Its Now ..Not Later

There are so many things in our daily routine , that we set aside for later.

From mundane things like organizing your wardrobe, to slightly more important things like getting your teeth filled .(From my procrastination list ...)

Sometimes it is just plain laziness or failing to prioritize.

There will be always time for completing the materialistic things on that procrastination list .

But what about the time that you are supposed to spent with your loved ones...? Your children..?

Recently I was walking home with Phinnaeus and we saw a father and his son playing cricket. Phinnaeus looked at them and made a pitiful sound which expressed all his anguish. I pulled him closer and before I was about to speak , he said,”I know...papa has to work..”

Yes..we all are working parents.We struggle from early morning till late night battling to keep that balance between all the roles we play out in our busy lives.

Where do we comprise..? At home..definitely...Home is the only place where we have people whom we can take for granted. Because we love them and we know that we are loved.We expect them to understand.

Our children are the ones who gets the wrong end of the pole. We dive headlong into work all the while reiterating to ourselves..”We are doing this for our kids. For their future ..”

We give them everything, other than our time and we call it love.

Our kids adapt to our availability and varied shades of parenthood faster than we imagine. They learn to fade away quietly or materialize , gauging our moods .

They smile less, talk even lesser .Find solace in games or going out with friends , depending on their age .

As parents , it is most important for us to remember that , our kids need us Now....not Later.

Now is the time to talk, to play , to read ...or whatever they want you to do with them.

They grow up faster than you can imagine .And they would need you lesser and lesser. Someday ..you busy parent ..your child might just turn around and ask you ...”Do you even Know? You were busy working all the time...”

It will be the time for regrets about all those little things that you failed to do.

It is vacation time for kids. They are at home for a month or so . The greatest gift you can give them is planning your day , so that you can spent time with them. A kid who has love , spreads love and laughter around .He learns to be compassionate and caring . We give them that Now , when it is still not to late.

I am only human afterall

I was listening to the song "I am only human " by Rag n Bone man and it set my thoughts on sail ..
Forgive and forget.
Easily said than done
You can say "I forgive you " or  "It's Ok ".  But letting go of hurt , pain and feeling of betrayal ..
It isn't easy for me .
The closer the one who hurt you ,the harder it is .
I am struggling to let go. It has taken a toll on my very being .
I used to be a happy person and now I am engaged in a constant battle with my amygdala which warns me of the danger of getting hurt, every time I try to be how I used to be .

Often our life becomes a charade which we act out, to keep up our social obligations.
We try to cope up by adopting several defense mechanisms.
Throwing ourselves so deep in work.
Drinking, expecting the senses to go numb.
Traveling.
Indulging in everything that we wouldn't otherwise do .
Just another weapon to fight against our hippocampi, from that painful incident being a long -term last forever memory.

If someone asks me what is my strength..I would say ..resilience.
I pull myself back up. I always do .
This too would make me a stronger person with another test of life passed with grade A.
But if you find a different me till then ...
Don't put your blame on me .
My sense of self preservation is on over drive .
I am only human after all.