Sometimes even the sweetest of the memories pale as years go by, leaving behind just a faint whiff of whatever feelings that came along with that memories.
So here I am, inscribing them so that when I wish to fish them out some day,I would acquire them strong as ever.
During my first year at Sanjivani, my direct interaction with our Vice-principal, Krishna ray was almost nil. But there was no dearth of gossips .Eventually I became aware of the different groups that existed in our school .I took special care to keep myself distant from these so called groups .
Towards the ending of the session ,one fine day, we were all summoned to our Principal’s office to discuss the most shocking event of that year ,the sudden oust of a senior teacher .Instead of thrashing out behind closed doors ,we had to witness the washing of dirty linen in public. Allegations after allegations were thrown at Krishna .All the while she sat there ,holding together her dignity ,not losing her temper , giving clarification to all the charges.That was the moment when I first made personal judgement about Krishna .She secured a place so high above everyone present there. I never troubled myself in finding out if any of those accusations were true or not.For me she became the synonym of restraint.
When the new session commenced, I was promoted as the primary co-ordinator and she called into her cabin to instruct me about the expectations from the school management side.
There is a lesson that I learned through the hard way.If you wish to tell someone something, do not delay;for, time doesn’t wait till you gather the courage to blurt it out. That day I told her about how I placed her on a pedestal from the day of her trial at the Principal’s office. She was quiet for a moment and then her eyes welled up .That day I realized on more fact, she is not used to getting compliments for her work and what she is .Not from our school anyway.
The past four months, I got the opportunity to work alongside her.My respect for her as a person grew every day.Her ability to not let her emotions rule her words and actions,that cool and relaxed exterior is what that I admire about her.
Our respect and affection was mutual. On an occasion, while I was writing my resignation letter, she literally caught hold of me and dragged me to our Director’s office, sorting out the issue in no time.She told me not to act when negative emotions are strong, to wait and make decisions when you get the clutter out of your mind.
The last few days of hers as a Sanjivanite, must have been the most beautiful ones for her. Everyone let her knew how much they all loved her and how much they all will be missing her. She was shedding tears of distress and joy.
I am positive that wherever she goes she would gain respect and love for the wonderful person that she is and I know that she would remember me.
I would never forget the great lesson that I learned from Krishna Ray.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Lincey and Me...
November...I can’t wait for November.Two reasons.First, my sisters have already planned their leaves and is tempting me with all their plans .This would be the second get together after my youngest sister’s marriage.Secondly,the thrill of driving down to Kerala.
This Rakshabandhan ,I had been thinking about my sisters.I never realised how close we were till we marriage took us physically apart from each other .
Lincey was the naughty one who always gave my parents trouble.We used to have fights on a daily basis where I used to be the loser.( Though I am admitting it for the first time .)Once I succeeded in pinning her on the wall which Linta witnessed and which I used to boast off every time when I couldn’t beat her in an argument.Or I would call her ,her nickname(I am not exposing that here or else she would reveal more darker secrets of mine.You see she is on Fb too.)which she hated eventhough it was the name which my dad used to call her when he wanted to annoy her.
As a child,she was too lazy to brush her teeth and mom wouldn’t give her food .So she would start her morning raga which sounded exactly like a truck going uphill...uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh......She was so adamant in every single thing and I strongly believe my younger son has inherited that gene somhow.Don’t ask me how ,maybe I had been thinking about her during my gestation period.
She is the most intelligent and talented among the three of us .My dad wanted her to pursue Physics but she joined for Literature .Her reason ,Physics department was at the crown of hill on which our college is situated and she didn’t want to climb up every day.(Now she is a gazetted officer.)She writes,paints,excellent fashion designer..there is no end to her talents.
She is an adventurous spirit and would act first and then think.It is her name and address in pen-pal column which brought me where I am now.Though she got bored of her pen friends ,the one whom she chose for me later on became my life partner.Even though she tries to remind me that often, I would brush her off, giving the credit to serendipity.
She was always and still remains my best friend .We still have our secret codes which we haven’t revealed even to our husbands.
Adventures of Lincey would be an interesting read which I would write someday ..obviously after she grants me consent.
This Rakshabandhan ,I had been thinking about my sisters.I never realised how close we were till we marriage took us physically apart from each other .
Lincey was the naughty one who always gave my parents trouble.We used to have fights on a daily basis where I used to be the loser.( Though I am admitting it for the first time .)Once I succeeded in pinning her on the wall which Linta witnessed and which I used to boast off every time when I couldn’t beat her in an argument.Or I would call her ,her nickname(I am not exposing that here or else she would reveal more darker secrets of mine.You see she is on Fb too.)which she hated eventhough it was the name which my dad used to call her when he wanted to annoy her.
As a child,she was too lazy to brush her teeth and mom wouldn’t give her food .So she would start her morning raga which sounded exactly like a truck going uphill...uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh......She was so adamant in every single thing and I strongly believe my younger son has inherited that gene somhow.Don’t ask me how ,maybe I had been thinking about her during my gestation period.
She is the most intelligent and talented among the three of us .My dad wanted her to pursue Physics but she joined for Literature .Her reason ,Physics department was at the crown of hill on which our college is situated and she didn’t want to climb up every day.(Now she is a gazetted officer.)She writes,paints,excellent fashion designer..there is no end to her talents.
She is an adventurous spirit and would act first and then think.It is her name and address in pen-pal column which brought me where I am now.Though she got bored of her pen friends ,the one whom she chose for me later on became my life partner.Even though she tries to remind me that often, I would brush her off, giving the credit to serendipity.
She was always and still remains my best friend .We still have our secret codes which we haven’t revealed even to our husbands.
Adventures of Lincey would be an interesting read which I would write someday ..obviously after she grants me consent.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Deciding your fortune
All of us have a certain amount of clairvoyance buried deep within us.It may not be forseeing future or anything similar .It is rather the power of our thoughts. Scientifically,thoughts can be called as energy, having a certain amount of mass ,which has the power to attract the very essence of that thought.
Have you wondered why certain bad happenings that you were scared of, exactly happened to you?
I have,many times. I know exactly why it happens.That negative thought which pops up in my conscious mind remains there .How much ever I try to shake it off, I keep thinking about it, empowering that very thought, thereby attracting that very negative thought to come down with force. I have not found out how to kill that thought .It roams free like a wild horse.
I have brought minor mishaps to me,my family and sometimes to people unknown to me, by my negative thoughts which are very powerful.None of them happened because I wanted it to be. At this moment I am facing the music of having attracted something negative ,something I have been fearing for almost a month.Even as I write this, there are strong fears deep down in my heart .I have decided to write them all down Maybe that would stop me from thinking about it.
This is how blessings,curse and prayer works.
If the blessings and curse have a powerful origin ,nothing can stop it from becoming real.
This is also the very essence of mass prayer ,faith healing. The power of positive thoughts.
Hence it is essential to harbour positive thoughts and to avoid negative ones.
If only it was as easy to do as it is to write..
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Sweet Revenge
Everything was absolutely in place and customary when she got up early in the morning.She switched off the alarm, carefully removed her husband’s arms entwined around her and headed off to kitchen .
She liked everything normal and habitual that followed a preset pattern. Having to do things differently caused her irritation and she loved her robotic life. Even going out and having fun followed a time table which they did on Saturdays .It was always a movie, random shopping and lunch.Once in a while she would do things unplanned and chaotic.
On such occasions she would be restless tills she falls back on track. Even though she was aware of this she didn’t find anything strange in her behaviour and her husband never complained.
As usual she was in her comfort zone,cooking and the next agenda in her timetable was to keep the kitchen waste outside .She did it promptly and went to the balcony to collect another waste disposal bag .Then and there the trouble erupted.Her husband had not placed his shoes on the shoe rack where it was meant to be.It was on the floor with the soiled socks strewn around .She hated having to touch another person’s soiled socks even if that another person was her husband.Now seeing the balcony in a disarrayed manner ,she felt irritation welling within her like a volcano waiting to erupt.
Now this would remain within her for days ,intensifying every day due to some things or other out of place ,like a wet towel on the bed, unfolded blanket, dirty linen outside the laundry bag…..Then it would erupt and she would let her anger flow, careful that the lava doesn’t cause any harm to anything or anyone nearby.What she would be thinking of, will be leaving her husband and staying alone not having anyone to bother about or anyone to disrupt her picture perfect life.She would pour out her anger in all those conversations that happened in her head, words which would wring his heart, which she would otherwise dare not utter. Then she would feel remorse for even having those thoughts.This would calm her down .She would drown her husband in her love for the next few days till it happened all over again.
Today ,having had to face this soiled socks and strewn shoes early morning itself, she felt miserable.
“How many times have I told him not to leave the shoes and socks around…? I need to put an end to it. “
She first thought of flinging them out of the balcony, then thought of hiding them .
As she kept concoting her devious plans and thought, she felt her not so good alter ego gaining control .She was aware of it but for once she let it overpower her.
Her husband got up at 6 a.m ,came to the kitchen to give and take the good morning hug and sat with the news paper and his coffee .Her plan was to spill little water on the marble floor near the bathroom .She expected him to slip and fall ,thus taking her sweet revenge for spoiling her day. He finished his coffee and headed for his bath .She was in the kitchen listening for the thud sound and her husband calling out for her .Thud sound she heard and then silence.
Minutes passed and she failed to hear the groaning as she expected. Her wicked state of mind gave way to alarm and she flew to their bedroom .There he lay, motionless, blood trickling on the white floor ,behind his head.She kneeled down beside him and shook him calling his name again and again. This wasn’t what she expected.She did not imagine him to hit his head on the sharp corner of the bed, or for him to lay still like the way he was lying now.
“ No ,No..Oh God ,No…” She screamed…
“Stop it …wake up…” It was her husband shaking her .She opened her eyes, realizing what she had gone through, was just a dream.
“ Were you having a nightmare? It’s 5:30 .Aren’t to going to work today.?” he asked.
She heaved a sigh of relief and said,”No,I am taking a day off. Let’s spend a day together.What say ? ..”
“ You are a very wicked woman ,” he said smiling.
She liked everything normal and habitual that followed a preset pattern. Having to do things differently caused her irritation and she loved her robotic life. Even going out and having fun followed a time table which they did on Saturdays .It was always a movie, random shopping and lunch.Once in a while she would do things unplanned and chaotic.
On such occasions she would be restless tills she falls back on track. Even though she was aware of this she didn’t find anything strange in her behaviour and her husband never complained.
As usual she was in her comfort zone,cooking and the next agenda in her timetable was to keep the kitchen waste outside .She did it promptly and went to the balcony to collect another waste disposal bag .Then and there the trouble erupted.Her husband had not placed his shoes on the shoe rack where it was meant to be.It was on the floor with the soiled socks strewn around .She hated having to touch another person’s soiled socks even if that another person was her husband.Now seeing the balcony in a disarrayed manner ,she felt irritation welling within her like a volcano waiting to erupt.
Now this would remain within her for days ,intensifying every day due to some things or other out of place ,like a wet towel on the bed, unfolded blanket, dirty linen outside the laundry bag…..Then it would erupt and she would let her anger flow, careful that the lava doesn’t cause any harm to anything or anyone nearby.What she would be thinking of, will be leaving her husband and staying alone not having anyone to bother about or anyone to disrupt her picture perfect life.She would pour out her anger in all those conversations that happened in her head, words which would wring his heart, which she would otherwise dare not utter. Then she would feel remorse for even having those thoughts.This would calm her down .She would drown her husband in her love for the next few days till it happened all over again.
Today ,having had to face this soiled socks and strewn shoes early morning itself, she felt miserable.
“How many times have I told him not to leave the shoes and socks around…? I need to put an end to it. “
She first thought of flinging them out of the balcony, then thought of hiding them .
As she kept concoting her devious plans and thought, she felt her not so good alter ego gaining control .She was aware of it but for once she let it overpower her.
Her husband got up at 6 a.m ,came to the kitchen to give and take the good morning hug and sat with the news paper and his coffee .Her plan was to spill little water on the marble floor near the bathroom .She expected him to slip and fall ,thus taking her sweet revenge for spoiling her day. He finished his coffee and headed for his bath .She was in the kitchen listening for the thud sound and her husband calling out for her .Thud sound she heard and then silence.
Minutes passed and she failed to hear the groaning as she expected. Her wicked state of mind gave way to alarm and she flew to their bedroom .There he lay, motionless, blood trickling on the white floor ,behind his head.She kneeled down beside him and shook him calling his name again and again. This wasn’t what she expected.She did not imagine him to hit his head on the sharp corner of the bed, or for him to lay still like the way he was lying now.
“ No ,No..Oh God ,No…” She screamed…
“Stop it …wake up…” It was her husband shaking her .She opened her eyes, realizing what she had gone through, was just a dream.
“ Were you having a nightmare? It’s 5:30 .Aren’t to going to work today.?” he asked.
She heaved a sigh of relief and said,”No,I am taking a day off. Let’s spend a day together.What say ? ..”
“ You are a very wicked woman ,” he said smiling.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Life With Phinnaeus
Life with Phinnaeus is eventful ,always expect the unexpected .He is two and half years old and trouble is his middle name.
Dalton John Junior,his Papa, never bends his knees before anyone .But Little Phinnu has his Papa twisted around his little fingers and crawling for deliverance and mercy.
Phinnu needs to be dropped at his crèche at 8.30 am .He wakes up around 6 and I have to leave by 7.30 a.m .Yesterday morning as usual he got up ,had his morning bowl of cereals .I was about to leave and he suddenly felt like having his favourite fried sausages.He settled for his Papa making those for him since I had to leave.His Papa got ready with his aprons and frying pan giving me I will –handle –it –don’t –you –worry look and his little assistant Phinnu on the kitchen platform supervising.Phinnu loves to watch me cooking and he always gives me company handing me the spices from the cabinet.
Everything started off just fine .He instructed how to chop the sausages just the perfect round
size for his fork.The sausages started sizzling and his Papap was about to take them out when Phinnu said
“ Not like that …mama puts this …” and smartly handed over turmeric powder first.My husband got puzzled but eventually he had to add chilly powder, cumin seeds ,thyme and little tomato sauce.Phinnu appreciaited his Papa’s handiwork ,took a bite “Dirty..you eat “ that was his verdict and his Papa had to savour the whole sausage bits.
Well ,I am sure he would never try his hand at cooking for Phinnu ever again.
Dalton John Junior,his Papa, never bends his knees before anyone .But Little Phinnu has his Papa twisted around his little fingers and crawling for deliverance and mercy.
Phinnu needs to be dropped at his crèche at 8.30 am .He wakes up around 6 and I have to leave by 7.30 a.m .Yesterday morning as usual he got up ,had his morning bowl of cereals .I was about to leave and he suddenly felt like having his favourite fried sausages.He settled for his Papa making those for him since I had to leave.His Papa got ready with his aprons and frying pan giving me I will –handle –it –don’t –you –worry look and his little assistant Phinnu on the kitchen platform supervising.Phinnu loves to watch me cooking and he always gives me company handing me the spices from the cabinet.
Everything started off just fine .He instructed how to chop the sausages just the perfect round
size for his fork.The sausages started sizzling and his Papap was about to take them out when Phinnu said
“ Not like that …mama puts this …” and smartly handed over turmeric powder first.My husband got puzzled but eventually he had to add chilly powder, cumin seeds ,thyme and little tomato sauce.Phinnu appreciaited his Papa’s handiwork ,took a bite “Dirty..you eat “ that was his verdict and his Papa had to savour the whole sausage bits.
Well ,I am sure he would never try his hand at cooking for Phinnu ever again.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Fathers day
If tomorrow never comes…by Ronan Keating is one of my favourite songs.It says…. if tomorrow never comes ,will she know how much I love her..
Lately on Fathers Day I made my son tell his Papa how much he means to him.He wrote down his thoughts and this is how it came ..
THIS IS YOUR DAY PAPA, FATHERS DAY
I WISH TO TELL, YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME
OUR MOCK FIGHTS AND ELEPHANT RIDES
YOU TAUGHT ME TENNIS, TOOK ME TO MOVIES
YOU TAUGHT ME TO BE ON MY OWN
PRESS MY CLOTHES, POLISH MY SHOES
AND ALSO TIE MY SHOELACE
LATELY, WHEN I BROKE MY GLASSES BEING THE GOAL KEEPER,
YOU GAVE ME TIPS TO GUARD MY PEEPS AND SAVE A GOAL
EVERYDAY I LEARN FROM YOU
SOMEDAY I WANT TO BE LIKE YOU
YOU ARE MY HERO
HAPPY FATHERS DAY
It brought tears to his Papas eyes and mine too when I saw the pair of them ..father and son in a tight embrace.
My son recited it in his school assembly and his rendition was so poignant that he made each and every one of the children remember their fathers for a moment.Later a kid from std Iv was found weeping thinking of his father whom he never got to know.
It is never late to let anyone whom you love know how much you love them and how much they mean to you.Or when you lose them that thought is going to wring your heart for ever.
So go ahead do it right now…
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Raindrops are falling.....
Rain ..at last.I stood at the balconywith my eyes closed and let the spray caress my face.(I would have preferred standing outside but discretion got the better of me ..the thought of the strange spectacle I would make with my arms outstretched and eyes closed…)
There isn’t anything I love much as the first shower of monsoon.It is one of the moments that invokes all the senses..a moment of heightened ecstasy.The musky scent of the damp earth,the taste of the raindrops that trickle down to the corner of your mouth,the pealing laughter of the raindrops on the rough ground and the touch of the rain on your skin….
Rain makes me sing all the those lovely songs that I can remember.
It had been always like that.The three of us-me and my sisters we used to place ourselves near the window and used to sing loudly ,the rain playing the background score.I feel nostalgic.
I took my boys along with me to feel the rain and I believe they must have enjoyed it too in their own way as much as I did.
Who wouldn’t?Which living soul can resist the magic of rain when she is in her gentle glory and not her ravaging vengeant self.
I say guys enjoy the monsoon,every drop of it.
There isn’t anything I love much as the first shower of monsoon.It is one of the moments that invokes all the senses..a moment of heightened ecstasy.The musky scent of the damp earth,the taste of the raindrops that trickle down to the corner of your mouth,the pealing laughter of the raindrops on the rough ground and the touch of the rain on your skin….
Rain makes me sing all the those lovely songs that I can remember.
It had been always like that.The three of us-me and my sisters we used to place ourselves near the window and used to sing loudly ,the rain playing the background score.I feel nostalgic.
I took my boys along with me to feel the rain and I believe they must have enjoyed it too in their own way as much as I did.
Who wouldn’t?Which living soul can resist the magic of rain when she is in her gentle glory and not her ravaging vengeant self.
I say guys enjoy the monsoon,every drop of it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)